2005-08-16, 3:16 a.m.
{dear}est Chancey
Dearest Chancey,
I just realized right now, at 3:16 am on August 16 of 2005 that I really can't live without you. Why I had the false impression that I could, I don't know. Why I thought that as long as you were happy with Heidi, I'd be fine. I'm not. I miss you so much my heart feels like it's in a vice. You used to be my everything.
Last summer, in my eyes, you could do no wrong. I was so scared to let go of last summer. And now that I finally have, now I have to let go of you and that is one of the hardest things I've had to come up against so far.
Why do I have to miss you so much. Why do I have to keep telling myself that you're better off without me in your life when I know you're not and so do you. We are meant for each other and you know it as well as I do.
I love you Chancey Sazama.
I LOVE YOU and it hurts me so much to know that you can't return those words and mean them anymore. Just know that I always will mean them.
Remember your valentine you sent to me? You tried to figure out what to do for it forever and you finally came up with making a heart out of tin foil and saying that it was your heart and everytime I looked into it I would know that I was in your heart, well I can feel the space that I fill in your heart closing in around me and sufficating the life out of me. Don't stop loving me. Please...
Love your,
Miss Britta
I Taste Death In Every Kiss We Share.
